Why Do So Many People With Money Not *Feel* Rich?
Hello everyone, John here! Today, we’re diving into a really fascinating topic that might surprise you. Have you ever daydreamed about winning the lottery or getting a huge promotion and finally feeling “rich”? We often imagine that having a lot of money automatically equals a life free of financial stress. But what if I told you that for many people who are, by all standards, quite wealthy, that feeling of being rich never actually arrives? It’s a strange but common puzzle, and today, we’re going to unpack it together.
Joining me, as always, is my wonderful assistant, Lila.
Lila: Hi, John! I’m really curious about this. It seems odd that someone with millions in the bank could feel the same financial anxiety as the rest of us. How is that possible?
That’s the million-dollar question, Lila! Let’s explore why this happens.
The Comparison Trap: Keeping Up With Everyone
One of the biggest reasons people don’t feel rich is because of something called social comparison. In simple terms, we humans have a natural habit of looking at what others have and measuring ourselves against them. It doesn’t matter how much money you make; there will always be someone who makes more.
Imagine you worked hard and finally bought your dream car. You feel fantastic! But then, your neighbor rolls up in a newer, more expensive model. Suddenly, your amazing car doesn’t feel quite as special. This is the comparison trap in action. In the age of social media, this is amplified a thousand times. We’re constantly seeing curated, perfect-looking lives of influencers and celebrities, which can make our own comfortable lives feel inadequate.
It’s like running a race where you can’t see the finish line. You just see other runners ahead of you, so you keep running, never feeling like you’ve made enough progress. The goalpost for “rich” is always moving because you’re basing it on the person just ahead of you.
Lifestyle Creep: The Sneaky Spending Increase
Another major factor is a phenomenon known as “lifestyle creep” or “lifestyle inflation.” This is a very common and subtle trap.
Lila: “Lifestyle creep”? That sounds a little bit scary, John. What does it mean?
Haha, great question, Lila! It’s not as spooky as it sounds, but it can be a ghost to your savings account. Think of it this way: When you first started your career, maybe earning a modest salary, living in a small apartment and eating at home felt normal. Then you get a raise! You think, “Great, I can afford a bigger apartment!” Then another raise comes along, and you decide to start buying more expensive clothes or a fancier car. You start eating out more often and taking more luxurious vacations.
Each step up feels small and justified. The problem is, your spending “creeps up” right alongside your income. Before you know it, your new, higher salary is completely eaten up by your new, more expensive lifestyle. Even though you’re earning far more than you used to, you don’t have any more “extra” money at the end of the month. You still feel like you’re living paycheck to paycheck, just a more expensive version of it.
This is why someone earning $200,000 a year might not feel any “richer” than when they were earning $60,000, because their financial obligations and spending habits have grown to match their new income.
The Burden of a High Net Worth
It might sound strange, but sometimes having a lot of assets can bring its own set of worries. The more you have, the more you have to lose.
Lila: Wait, John, you just used a term from the article: net worth. Can you explain what that is for beginners like me?
Of course! That’s a fantastic question. Don’t let the term intimidate you. Net worth is simply a measure of your financial health. You calculate it with a simple formula:
What You OWN minus What You OWE = Your Net Worth
- What You Own (Assets): This includes things like the money in your bank accounts, the value of your home, your car, and any investments like stocks or retirement funds.
- What You Owe (Liabilities): This includes any debts you have, like a mortgage on your house, a car loan, student loans, or credit card debt.
So, if your home is worth $300,000 but you still owe $200,000 on your mortgage, the net worth of your home is $100,000. It’s just a snapshot of where you stand financially.
Now, back to the point. Someone with a high net worth—say, several million dollars in investments—might worry constantly about a stock market crash. They might stress about managing their money correctly, tax laws, or ensuring their wealth lasts for their children and grandchildren. The problems are different, but the feeling of anxiety can be just as real.
Where You Live Makes a Huge Difference
Another key piece of the puzzle is the cost of living. A $150,000 salary might make you feel incredibly wealthy in a small town in the Midwest, where housing and daily expenses are low. You could afford a large house, save a lot, and have plenty of disposable income.
However, that same $150,000 salary in a city like New York, San Francisco, or London might barely be enough to get by. After paying for a tiny apartment, expensive groceries, and high taxes, that person might feel stretched thin. So, the number on your paycheck doesn’t tell the whole story; it’s what that money can actually buy you where you live that shapes your feeling of wealth.
So, What Does It Mean to “Feel” Rich?
This all leads us to a bigger question: If a specific dollar amount doesn’t make you feel rich, what does? The original article suggests, and I tend to agree, that true wealth isn’t about having an endless supply of money. It’s about something else entirely.
Feeling rich is more about:
- Security: Knowing that an unexpected car repair or medical bill won’t send you into a panic.
- Freedom: Having the ability to make life choices based on what you want, not what you need to do to pay the bills. This could mean changing careers, taking time off to be with family, or pursuing a passion project.
- Flexibility: Having what’s often called “F-You Money” — not to be rude to people, but to have the power to walk away from a toxic job or a bad situation without fear of financial ruin.
- Generosity: Being able to help friends, family, and causes you care about without worrying about your own finances.
Ultimately, feeling rich is a mindset. It’s about appreciating what you have, controlling your spending, and defining “enough” for yourself, rather than letting society or your neighbors define it for you.
A Few Final Thoughts…
From my perspective, this is a powerful reminder that the goalposts we set for ourselves are often imaginary. True financial peace comes from living within your means and focusing on what money gives you—freedom and security—not just the things it can buy. It’s about being content with your journey, not constantly craning your neck to see how far ahead others are.
Lila: This has been so eye-opening, John! I always thought “rich” was a number. But it sounds like it’s more of a feeling of being in control of your life. It makes me think more about saving for security rather than just for buying fancy things. It’s a much healthier way to look at money!
Couldn’t have said it better myself, Lila. It’s all about perspective!
This article is based on the following original source, summarized from the author’s perspective:
I Don’t Feel Rich